When to Push, When to Step Back: Letting Coaches Do Their Thing as a Sports Parent

4-4 4 Home Runs! #44

Youth sports can be a rollercoaster—not just for kids, but for us as parents. We want the best for our children. We want them to work hard, succeed, and feel proud. But sometimes, our desire to help ends up doing the opposite.

As a parent, I constantly struggle with this. I want to encourage and teach, but I’ve learned—often the hard way—that sometimes the best thing I can do is back off and let things unfold.

Trusting the Coach (and the Process)

Coaches are there to do a job. They’ve got the plan, the drills, the strategy—and most importantly, the perspective. As parents, it’s our job to trust that process, even when it’s different from what we’d do ourselves.

There have been times when I felt like I was too caught up in how my son was performing. I questioned plays. I offered too much feedback. I thought I was helping. But what I was really doing was clouding his head.

One of the best lessons I’ve learned is: let the coaches coach. Our kids don’t need two voices in their ear. They need space to listen, learn, and lead on their own.

A Personal Turning Point – Cooperstown Dream Park

I’ll never forget when my son got the incredible opportunity to play at Cooperstown Dream Park. It was a dream come true, and I was all in—watching every swing, analyzing every one of his plays and honestly, I was probably too in it.

I was anxious. I wanted him to shine. But he was just enjoying being there, trading pins and enjoying his teammates.

So finally, I got in the car, went for a drive, and just… surrendered it. I prayed. I let go of the need to control or manage or fix anything. I reminded myself: this is his journey, not mine.

And the next day? He went 4-for-4. Four home runs in one game. It was unbelievable. Not just because of the performance, but because of the peace that came with letting go.

The Balancing Act: Teach, Then Be Quiet

This experience reminded me: there’s a time to teach, and there’s a time to be quiet.

Yes, we should guide our kids. Yes, we should talk about effort, commitment, and teamwork. But sometimes they just need us to sit back, watch, and cheer.

They don’t need a coach on the car ride home. (Which I have done way too many times!) They need a parent who celebrates them no matter what the scoreboard says.

What Our Kids Really Need

• They need encouragement, not pressure.

• They need us to be their biggest fans, not their toughest critics.

• They need space to succeed—and space to fail.

And above all, they need to know that their value isn’t tied to their stats.

Final Thoughts

Sports are about so much more than wins and losses. They’re about growth, resilience, and learning who you are under pressure.

As parents, we’re part of that story. But we’re not the main characters. So let the coaches do their job. Let the kids play. And when the urge to control sneaks in again—as it always does—breathe, surrender, and enjoy the ride.

You never know… it just might lead to four home runs.

Tyler Lennon

44 Sports Connect LLC